I Need a Break

First day of school and I’m already getting notes from my Dylan’s teacher saying that he is not listening.  Well, of course he is not!  He is a boy!  A few days later, it’s back to work for me.  It’s Monday morning and I can’t find a parking spot near my office.  So I have to walk a significant distance with a bag full of books in one hand, and an oversized purse and my lunch bag in the other one while wearing uncomfortable shoes.  I finally make it to my first class, and the computer doesn’t work.  My next two classes are packed full of first level students who have no interest in learning Spanish other than, “it’s required,” which isn’t the greatest motivator. 

My stomach is unsettled and my brain is racing.  I need a break.  I go for an unhealthy drink at the vending machine to find out that the price has gone up!  I eat lunch on the go, finish up my last class and run to the distant parking spot where I left my car.  By the time I get there, I have ruptured blisters on both my feet.  A forty minute drive later I’m home to get my boys off the bus.  Then, I find out that my little one decided to forget what triangles and rectangles are.  I spent all afternoon working on shapes, and arguing with my too-smart-for-his-own-good older son about how for a number to be in the millions, it needs to have at least 7 digits! 

“Why didn’t you guys eat your lunches?”  “Well, I didn’t like that sandwich you packed,” says one, and the other one tells me, “I didn’t have time to finish.”  I need a break.  I send them both outside and then realize that it is almost six o’clock and I haven’t even started dinner.  My husband comes home and I send him outside too.  “Go practice shapes with Dylan!” I yell as he gladly goes out the door again.

It seems like dinner is going to happen after all; then I catch a glimpse of the pile of clean clothes downstairs already mixing in with its dirty counterpart.  At some point I also have to iron shirts and clean, at least the bathroom.  After dinner the kids have some time to play and relax while I start preparing my lessons for tomorrow.  Soon it’s time for baths.  Bedtime is here, at last!  “Be quiet while I read…do you not want me to read this book?”  “I can’t sleep.  It’s too hot.  Can you stay here a minute.”  I need a break, so I do stay.  I lay down on my older son’s bed and I snooze for a few minutes. 

After the boys are out, I get up and finish my lessons.   My hair is a mess.  I need a haircut really bad.  Where did I put that piece of paper?  “Mama, can I have some chocolate milk?”  “No!  All the cups are dirty.”  Whine, whine, and whine some more until there is silence, blessed silence.  Finally I get a few minutes to talk to my husband.  Bad idea, since a simple question ends up turning into a brain-twister of grave proportions.  My brain is fried.  I need a break.  I go to bed to wake up and do it all over again, tomorrow.

There are stages, seasons of life in which it becomes very hard to remember what the Word says about not letting stress take away our peace.  The season of parenting young children is one of them, but there are many others.  Every season brings with itself its own stress.  The season of worrying about aging parents and how to best care for them, for example, is another highly stressful and gut-wrenching one, as I’ve lately discovered.  There is also the season when we have to deal with our own aging and our own transitions.  There is the season of new beginnings, such as adjusting to married life, or to an empty house, or to a house full of teenagers or infants, or to a new job or to a lack of thereof. 

It’s all so very hard.  What are we to do?  Well, all I know to do is to dwell in His Word and cling to His promises for dear life.  One thing I am thinking about doing, but haven’t had time to do yet is to pull out several verses from Scripture that pertain to not being anxious, and keep them handy for when I forget.  One that will certainly top the list, once I get to it, is Philippians 4:6-7:  ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I want that peace that “transcends all understanding.”  What can I do to get it?  I can present my requests to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving.  I praise Him, for He is worthy of all our praise and worship.  I ask Him in faith.  And I give Him thanks.  I recount His many blessings on me, and I thank Him for He has been faithful in my life; and He who has been faithful, will be faithful again, and again. 

Jesus Himself told us that He has given us His Word so we can have peace.  He said in John 16:33:  ³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  And as we have already realized, we will have trouble indeed; but the one thing we need to realize also is that our faith is in Him, and He is the One and Only who has overcome the world. 

May the words of Paul to the Colossians in chapter 3:15, ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful, be our exhortation to strive for a life filled with the peace of our Lord and Savior.

Staying True to Him

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Paul wrote this final exhortation to his beloved people of Philippi as a way to encourage them toward unity and lead them on the road to righteousness as they witness and modeled Christianity to the world.  I figure that the words apply to all of us today too; particularly to those of us who have answered the call to write for Him.  As Christian bloggers we are in the field, ministering to God’s children and as such, we are responsible for our actions and for the paths we chose for ourselves and for those who follow us. Therefore, Paul’s exhortation is particularly valid for us today.  His tall order becomes real to us every day as we face decisions and options for our ministry.

I would like resolve today that, particularly, when deciding on my message, that I will keep Philippians 4: 8 in mind as a way to test my inspiration and to corroborate that I’m presenting the exact representation of what the Holy Spirit wants to transmit through me.  As a Sacred Check List, I will go through it to fact check my thoughts:

-Is it true?

-Is it noble?

-Is it right?

-Is it pure?

-Is it lovely?

-Are my meditations about something really admirable that is going to result in the uncovering of excellence and capable of provoking something praiseworthy?

If the answer to any of these items happens to be no, that should be enough for me to go back to the praying room, ask for guidance and wisdom as I discard the idea, rework the thoughts and rethink the message.  Staying true to Christ through my posts will only remain a reality if I stay true to prayer.  Invoking the help of the Holy Spirit each and every time I sit in front of the computer for Him to shower me with His Holy inspiration is the only way I would carry out my mission as a Christian blogger in a manner that honors Him, who enables me and who sends me.

I want to surround myself with all things good.  I want to think about such things as I live my life and as I blog for Him.

Things I Forgot...

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 19

Lately, my routine has been a bit altered. Rather than jumping out of bed early in the morning and rushing around the house in a frantic effort to accomplish as much as possible in a day that always seems to slip away; now I am forced to begin my days at a much slower pace. Due to a recent surgery, I’ve been waking up later than usual and by the time I get “going” with my “activities” the morning is almost over.

The first week after my surgery, my dear husband was home taking care of our sons and of everything, really, while I just enjoyed freedom to do as I pleased (mostly spend time at my computer with my feet up). Yesterday was the first day he went back to work and I found myself alone in the house with my boys. I have to say the night before I was dreading morning. I was very nervous thinking that I would not be able to do what I had to do by myself. “My sons are so clueless. They won’t be able to help me!” was my recurrent thought. “We’re not going to survive!” “What if something happens? I can’t drive!” “How are we going to make it?” Today, I feel ashamed.

I allowed my soul to become anxious and distraught. I let my heart wander away from faith. I took my eyes off of Christ. I forgot the formula to peace:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

I forgot to pray. As I contemplated my days without my husband home to take care of things I fretted instead of consulting with my Lord. I didn’t ask Him, the sustainer and strength of my life, to guide me and make His presence known in me as I walk on the scary waters of getting back on my feet again.

I forgot to be thankful. My mind wandered to the myriad of things I am not able to do and I forgot to thank God for all the things I AM able to do. I concentrated on the “unfortunate event” of my husband having to return to work rather than appreciating the very rare fact that he was able to be home for a whole week! (let alone thanking God for the fact that he has a job to go back to!)

I forgot to breathe in the peace of His provision. I forgot that He is the God who can do the impossible. I forgot to present my requests.  I forgot to trust Him.

As the day progressed, I moved around the house slowly and relied on my 10-year old son to do some laundry, water plants and lift heavy things for me. My 6-year old read a couple of stories on his own, got his own snacks while lovingly reminding me throughout the day, “Mama, remember what the doctor said, you can’t lift heavy things and can’t bend on your belly.” All these sprinkled with some TV watching, naps, and gentle hugs from my sweet boys.

At the end of the day I looked back and saw that it wasn’t as perfect as the days when Daddy was here taking care of things. We stayed in our PJs all day and ate bacon, tomatoes and cupcakes for lunch. But the Lord did provide everything we needed, including an extra portion of patience for me, and we survived.

I’m sure the boys are glad Daddy is back, though; perhaps now they can have a decent meal for dinner. : )

Always Rejoice!

Current health issues I face, seasoned with an ever-nagging feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt, found me inadvertently sinking into the quick sand of worry.  I have always struggled with worry.  People who know me well say that they don’t worry because they know I’ll do it for them.  I’m not proud of it, but that’s what I do…I worry.

The flip side of my “condition” is that I have seen and experienced first-hand the Holy Spirit working in me through the years in amazing ways.  He has walked with me through many fires and showed me that as long as I stick by Him, He will rescue me and deliver me unharmed.  The Lord in His majesty has been patiently teaching me that worry is just a sovereign waste of time and energy which could be otherwise employed in a more efficient manner (let alone a huge sign of my lack of faith!).

Through several trials that range from infertility and family disunity to chronic illness of loved ones and career dissatisfaction, Our Heavenly Healer and Redeemer has carried me to the other side of anguish to the calm shore of peace, time after time.  With love, He constantly reminds me that He is in control and that no matter what; He will take care of me and my beloved today as He has done in the past and will do in the future.

Though I have never heard the audible voice of God, He speaks to me in His Word.  He directs me to passages that contain exactly what I need to hear.  That’s how I landed on Philippians 4: 4 where Paul commands us to rejoice always, not just sometimes or when things are going well and we feel happy.  He says, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to “Rejoice in the Lord always.”  And in case we missed it or didn’t understand it, he repeats it again in the same verse:  “I will say it again, Rejoice!”

In days like these, when things don’t seem to go my way, I go back to this verse and let the energy of the Holy Spirit inject me with His sustaining breath of life and remind me that, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior." (Habakkuk 3: 17-18) For He is Faithful and I know that He is who He says He is and that He will do all He promised and that I am His child and He loves me, therefore He will not forsake me. He is my Redeemer and He lives! He is the same today as He was yesterday and He will be tomorrow.

I will not let my circumstances cast a dark shadow over me. I will call on the power of He who lives in me to chase the darkness away and wipe the tears off my face. It is a difficult thing to do, particularly when immersed in the depths of a drowning sea of problems, worries, difficulties, negativity, despair, and fear; but it is not impossible if I relay on the Lord. If I depend on my own strength, yes, I am done, but I do not! I rest on the strength of He whose power is made perfect in my weakness. He grace IS, indeed sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12: 9)

I will have other days when I see the gathering of the dark clouds in the horizon heading toward me. It is inevitable. I will probably feel the sting of worry pock me like a needle, but I will not allow it to make me turn my face away from my Lord! Empowered by the Holy Spirit, I will let His loving hand guide me to a place of rest and quiet. He will take me to a place where I can pause and tune in to His Word and pray for a keen awareness of His presence. His presence will then carry me through all my trials and fires to the other side where Mercy waits for me with open arms.

Lesson from the Ants

19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 1 Corinthians 9: 19-24

My favorite place to write in the summer is sitting in my old chair outside in the back patio.  From that spot, I can take a break and look up to see my two sons playing in the care-free summer afternoons.  I can also see the multitude of ants (to my husband’s dismay) that walk about the concrete floor in defiance of Dan’s constant attack on them.  No matter what that man tries, the ants don’t stop their march.  They are relentless (and so is heJ )

The ants, however, make me think of perseverance.  They are not deterred by anything.  I have to give them credit.  They sure are the poster child for the “never give up” slogan.  I wonder if they ever think of quitting?  As they march on, carrying their tiny piece of food on their backs, I wonder if they are aware of their contribution to the colony?  I wonder if they realize that the small crumb they so faithfully transport on their backs will mean survival during the harsh winter months to come?  I wonder if they comprehend the importance of that seemingly insignificant crumb they carry, through the battlefield of our patio, to the rest of his brothers and sisters?

As a Christian blogger I’d like to learn from these ants.  I’d like to learn the meaning of perseverance and to never quit.  I’d like to absorb their resolve in the midst of adversity and join Paul when in his call in Galatians 6:9 when he says:  And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Even if I don’t see the fruit of my work and perseverance, I won’t give up.  Even if I only have a hand-full of followers in my blog, I won’t give up. Even if My page-view and other statistics are low, I won’t give up.  Even if I never get any RTs or #FFs, I won’t give up for I blog for Him.  It is His ministry and my call is to do it.  He will do the rest.  He will do with it and take it to whatever hights He desires and He plans.  Even if I reach just one person for Him, it will be worth it.  The funny thing is that sometimes that one person that gets touched is me.  Yes, sometimes the Lord’s purpose is to reach into my very own heart and touch me through the time I spend with Him, meditating on His Word as I type away on this electronic pages that no one else might see.  Sometimes that is His purpose for my effort, so I cannot give up.  As long as I am reaching at least one, I must go on, and I know there is always one, even if it is just the one in front of the screen.

I will continue to carry my little crumb around for I know who I carry it for.  I know that even though it is a very small crumb it is the crumb that has been assigned to me and I must carry it with dignity and a sense of accomplishment. 

Insignificant in the eyes of the world, perhaps so, but not in the eyes of My Lord.

Am I Someone Worth Dying For?

Once again, the whisperings of the Holy Spirit came to me while listening to a Christian song.  This time, the song was “Someone Worth Dying For” by the band Mikeschair.  As you can very well guess, the song is about finding your worth in Christ.  The title of this song immediately suggests the question…am I really someone worth dying for? In my mind, I tend to think that there are those who are definitively worth the price that Christ paid, but certainly I’m not among them.  Why would a perfect God love me so much that He’d send his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  (John 3:16)   There is nothing in me worth loving, let alone loving to the point of sacrifice.

Well, the truth is that nobody is worth the sacred blood of the Perfect Lamb of God.  Not even one.  And this is the core of what makes God’s love for us so unfathomable, that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)  This is the extend of the Grace of God, that even though nobody deserves His sacrifice, He did it anyway, for He is Love and Mercy is His nature.

Nothing compares to His love and nothing we do would ever make us worthy of Him.  Our worth is in Him.  It is by Him that we are made righteous.  “He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.” (Romans 4:25)  Any good in us comes from Him who justifies us.  That is why we walk in humility; because we had no part in making ourselves worthy of Him.  It is not by what we do, but by what He has already done, that we walk among the saved, and we count ourselves as part of His flock.  That’s why I sing, “Jesus help me believe that, [in You] I am someone worth dying for.”

1 The fool says in his heart,

   “There is no God.”

They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;

   there is no one who does good.

 2 The LORD looks down from heaven

   on all mankind

to see if there are any who understand,

   any who seek God.

3 All have turned away, all have become corrupt;

   there is no one who does good,

   not even one.   Psalm 14:1-3

Fill It Up God

One of the many joys of small-town-country living in Western Pennsylvania is that with fall it comes a season of  melancholic beauty, colorful leaves (which could also be a curse…depending on who you ask : ) and my favorite, a myriad of festivals all around, almost every weekend from September to Thanksgiving.  As it happened, we just had our township festival a few days ago.  Of course, there was a parade, which we had the blessing to have pass by right in front of our house.  At around 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, we armed ourselves with sweatshirts and baseball hats to cover up our pjs. and our morning hair, and down the driveway we went.  Grandma stopped by and encouraged the kids to get bags to collect the bounty of candy that was about to start pouring out the windows of the various vehicles in the parade.  My little Dylan grabbed his bag, opened it wide in his outstretched arms, took a deep breath, closed his eyes, looked upwards and said:  “fill it up God!”

There were basically two ways to react to this.  One way was to look at him, laugh, and think to yourself, “what a big bum,” which was exactly what I did.  The other way was to see it from a whole other perspective, and exclaim with a sigh, “o the faith of a child.”

I have to admit that it has taken me till now to see it the second way.  I think it is, perhaps, because my faith is certainly not like that of a 5 year old.  I have become cynical and too dependent on my own means for provision.  I worry too much about tomorrow and I keep my “bag” tightly closed so nothing can get out of it.  But then, I started thinking about what I heard a while back on the radio… “what if we live our lives with open hands, that way, God can take away whatever He wants to take away, but He would also put in there more than we can ever imagine.”  What if I were to leave my “bag” wide open for Him to take away the heavy burdens that weigh me down, and replace them with His immeasurable treasures, which I would otherwise miss, if I were to keep it vacuum-sealed?  Maybe this is something I need to put into practice more intentionally.  Maybe that’s the secret to a more content life.  Maybe this is something to think about…

In the end, you can guess, Dylan’s bag did get filled up with goodies, which now I have to ration and hide.  But I am grateful that I have been able to understand the reminder of the joy of the Lord’s faithfulness and generous provision, which brings smiles to my face like sweet treats in a crisp fall small-town day.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will depart

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;

may the name of the LORD be praised.”

                                                      Job 1:20-21

Hope

In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

(Job 12:10 NIV)

The book of Job is not necessarily one of those books of the Bible that I turn to when I am looking for something to cheer me up; neither I associate it with words like happiness or rejoicing.    I tend to associate Job more with words like resignation, obedience, hardship, suffering, loss, acceptance and sadness.  However, if I pay attention, all of these words imply a state in which the soil of our soul becomes prepped and ready to receive the Good News of His Word.  So if I stick with it, and don’t get discouraged by Job’s hardship, this book does provide a source of hope, true hope.

Hardship, loss, suffering, sadness, and all those states of being that don’t sound or feel very pleasant; God can use to do the work of a plow in the field,- to break it-.  Like the blades on this divine plow, difficult, and often almost unbearable circumstances break us and turn us like the hardened earth on the field that is our soul.  They prepare us to receive the seed that is His Word so the Holy Spirit can create a fertile garden in our hearts where His fruits can grow.

Thus, I do find hope in the book of Job.  I find the hope of the realization that it is by Him, through Him and because of Him that I have the breath of life.  Job reminds me that “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” (Job 33:4) Nothing can change that truth.  No difficulty or hardship can change the fact that He sustains me as He lives in me.  And as long as I remain in Him, I will have true hope, for He is the only source of it.  Only those who break away from His vine are hopeless, “For what hope has the godless when he is cut off, when God takes away his life.”  (Job 27:8)

As my heart is filled with earthly concerns about my Father, my sons, my marriage, my work and my country, I find hope today in the words of Job because he reminds me that the hand of the Almighty is the life of every creature, and that His Divine Breath is the breath of all mankind.  Our Lord has a purpose for suffering and it is to develop perseverance of the saints, as Paul told us in Romans 5: 3-4, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  And that hope that comes out of suffering and perseverance is true hope.  It is the hope that endures and protects the soul of the believer from falling into the pit of darkness and desolation. 

He, who is hope Himself, will lead us to hope, even if in the most unlikely places.  For as long as we have life, His breath will remain in our nostrils. (Job 27:3)

But he knows the way that I take;

when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

My feet have closely followed his steps;

I have kept to his way without turning aside.

I have not departed from the commands of his lips;

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.  Job 23: 10-12

Down the Water Slide

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

We recently spent 3 wonderful days at an in-door-water-park.  The first few hours of the first day, however, were a bit challenging.  My little 6-year-old, Dylan, was very reluctant to get in the water.  “Mama, I don’t want to go in because it’s going to sprinkle and make me wet…,” he’d say to my bewilderment.  “But, Dylan!”  I would reply impatiently, “this IS a water park…of course you are going to get wet!”  “C’mon, be reasonable!”  I thought to myself.  After we realized that Dylan wasn’t going to just cheerfully dive in, I shooed my husband and my 9-year-old away, so I could flex my persuading muscles alone.  “Where are Daddy and Grant going, Mama?” A very puzzled Dylan asked me when he saw them leave for the water.  To which question I kindly replied, “to jump in the water, where else???”

Then, I took him for a walk around the park.  First, we went into the kiddy area.  There, I pointed out that little kids were, not only surviving the water attractions, but also having fun while at it!  The visit to kiddy land bore no fruit, so we moved on to another fun and shallow play area.  Within this site there where twin slides sitting side by side.  My plan was to persuade him to try them by telling him that he would go in the orange one and I would go in the blue one and we’d race to see who wins!  He is very competitive, so it was a great plan!  Of course, it failed.  It didn’t matter how I approached the challenge.  He wasn’t budging.  I used forceful commands, like:  “you are going down that slide, Dylan, and that is that!”  After all, I am the authority figure, and he is supposed to obey me, right?  WRONG!  I also used old-lame lines that parents around the world use when they want to entice their boys to do something they don’t want to do, like:  “look at that little girl, Dylan, she is smaller than you and she is not afraid of the slide!”  Like any parent at the brink of losing it, I also used threats:  “Dylan, if you don’t go down that slide, you are NOT going to have any chocolate milk for a week!”  All these to no avail, of course.

Finally, surrounded by other parents who were happily going down the slides with their happy children, I sat down on the floor, looked him in the eye, and I said, “I know you are afraid.  It is OK to be afraid, but I’m telling you that there is nothing to be afraid of.  Nothing bad is going to happen to you.  Trust me!  I am right here with you.  I will be with you all the time.  I would never send you to do something that would hurt you.  I will be right there when you come down, waiting for you.  I will be seeing you all the way.  You don’t have to be afraid.”  “Besides,” I added, “remember, you’ve been here before and you loved it!  Don’t you remember?”

Later, as I thought about the incident at the water park, I was, once again, stroke by what the Holy Spirit whispered in my ears.  “Where have I heard those words before?”  Well, I’ve heard them from our Father’s Holy Word, of course.  He is our Father and we are His beloved children.  And, If we, “though [we] are evil, know how to give good gifts to [our] children, how much more will [our] Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  He is our Father.  He is our Good Father, who is always with us, as we cry “Abba” in our hour of fear.  As our Father, He tells us “fear not” so many times throughout the Bible that we could possibly have a Scriptural reference about not being afraid, but fearing only God for each day of the year.  He is with us; and, unlike our earthly parents, He is perfect and He never let go of us.  He never leaves us,  “for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”  (Deut. 31:6b)  He doesn’t even become impatient with us for our lack of faith, for He is love and love is patient and love is kind.

The problem is that we are quick to forget how great our God is.  We have been “there” before, and He has, as usual, gone with us, but we forget.  We have faced fiery trials, gone into the lion’s den, challenged giants; and through it all, the Lord has delivered us.  He has surely done great things for us, and we do rejoice, for the moment; but then we go back to our routine, unchanged. To our Father’s bewilderment, we forget.  Then, inevitably, we face the hard times again, and we fear, again.  We forget that He has always led us through the desserts of our lives; and how He gives us exactly what we need when we need it.  We fear because we forget.

Let us change course right here, right now, and pray that the Holy Spirit will never let us forget.  Let’s pray that He will help us remember that He holds our hand always.  May we have a keen awareness that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  This truth we must remember in all situations and rejoice in Him who upholds us with His righteous right hand!  Praise be to Him who goes with us.  Praise be to Him who “has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline,” (2 Timothy 1:7)  In the scary hour, let us all proclaim at loud, for the enemy to clearly hear and retreat, that:  “The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid” (Psalm 27:1)

With teary eyes and a frown on his forehead, Dylan finally let me lead him toward the slide.  With hesitation and often looking back to make sure I was really “there” with him as I had assured him, he sat down at the top of the slide and down he went.  I followed down on the one right next to his and we met up at the bottom.  I got up and grabbed him tightly.  Quickly, I carried him out of there, since the lifeguard was already blowing his whistle prompting us to vacate the area for the next sliders to be able to come down.  “You did it!!” I said to him over and over again.  “I knew you could do it!”  “See, you are OK, and it was fun too, wasn’t it?”  As we high-fived, I saw his face torn between a frown and a smile, until he finally admitted that he had liked it indeed.  After that first “trial” slide, Dylan was able to enjoy our visit to the water park.  I was able to tell him later, as we wandered around the lazy river, to remember that Jesus is always with us and that every time we are scared, we can call on Him and He will hold our hand so we are not afraid.  I don’t know if he heard me, since by then, Dylan was totally immersed in the fantasy of a watery vacation; but as for me, I pray those words continue to echo in my mind forever. 

Laundry Fun

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.  Colossians 3:23

Does this “whatever” include laundry?  Silly question, of course it does; but I tell you, sometimes, that laundry business becomes a good representation of what Peter was referring to when he wrote about the devil being like a beast seeking to devour.  I just have two sons and one husband, but boy, laundry is indeed the biggest and scariest beast in this house, and it sure seems like it wants to devour us.  Actually, it wants to devour me, since none of the men in the house seems to notice it.  While I fret about the growing piles of dirty clothes lying on the basement floor, my “boys” go about their days unfazed by it.  They walk and play by it, and don’t even see it.  The only time they become aware of the impending need to do the wash is when they happen to pull out the last piece of clean “unmentionables.”  [I was going to say that sometimes, for certain members of my household, that isn’t even a trigger…but I changed my mind…]

Anyway, days ago I dumped all the dirty clothes down the basement, for I believe in the old adage, “out of sight, out of mind,” but it happens that as the piles have grown bigger, they have begun to creep back upstairs.  As I sit here at the computer, I can see (and smell) the assortment of today’s socks, pants and shirts that my sons, so diligently threw down the stairs.  They mockingly peek back at me from the steps where they landed.  I can almost hear them laughing at me in the dark of night, for they know they are winning this latest battle.

I seriously have no clue how bigger households manage laundry.  It is such a formidable enemy.  I have not the strength.  I solemnly take my hat off and salute all the women and men who courageously attack the laundry beast and win.  I don’t know how you do it.  I could not imagine having to do laundry for a family of more than 4 people.  I praise God for you, since you are a source of inspiration for me.  I admire you.  I know you don’t think that the way you do your laundry business is anything worth of admiration.  Trust me, it is!  Those of us who only have two kids see you as mighty titans!  So, next time you finish folding a load of laundry, take a deep breath, inhale all that fresh scent that only laundry detergent, softener and dryer sheets can produce (hopefully there’s not much lint floating around in the air, so you don’t have to inhale that too) and say to yourself, well done, good and faithful servant!

To Speak or Not To Speak

To speak up or to be quiet…that is the question.  I stick my foot (sometimes not just one : ) in my mouth so many times in a given day, that I’m convinced the best policy for me is to remain silent at all times.  If you ask my kids, and husband, they’ll agree!  They all think I talk way too much.  The worst part is that nobody listens!  One of my recurrent complaints is how little the boys in this house seem to hear me when I speak.  I am always amazed at my 10-year old Grant, for example, and how he looks like he is listening.  Last night, just for a quick illustration, as I was giving him specific instructions on what he needed and not needed to do in order to complete his homework, he was standing a few inches from me, nodding in agreement and following with his eyes, indicating with his body language that he was intently paying attention to my words, only to have him turn around and do completely the opposite of what I’ve told him to do.  I just couldn’t believe it!  I asked him, “did you hear anything I said to you?”  Of course, he could do nothing else other than to shake his head in shame.  So I went and complained about it to Dan, and guess what?  He didn’t hear anything I said either!

As you can see then, if left to my own devices, I am clueless as to when it is prudent to speak, when I am speaking too much, or when it is better to be quiet.  I’m back on that ledge, not knowing what to do next.

A clue to finding out how do we know when to speak may come up when we continue reading Psalm 39.  David says:  “But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased.  My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue…”  We can sense that anguish David is talking about.  As we read these verses, we can almost see David standing on that ledge, torn.  Keeping silent was killing him.

We’ve felt what the psalmist felt in this passage, haven’t we?  We recognize these moments when a fire is blazing inside of us and we’ve got to say something or we’ve regret it for the rest of our days.  But there is one very important detail tucked in between these lines, which we might miss if we are not reading carefully.  The shepherd-king says:  “and as I meditated…”  He did not keep quiet for long, only while it was prudent to do so.  The All-Consuming Fire of God’s righteousness burned inside of him until he could not keep quiet anymore.  Then he spoke.  However, that didn’t mean David spoke carelessly, without thinking, saying the first thing that came out of his mouth, which he might’ve later regretted.  He meditated first.  He paused before he spoke.  He went to the Lord.  He reviewed in his mind and soul who God is and sought His guidance, and then he spoke.  And what he spoke was magnificently profound.

As I ponder these ideas, I realized that David didn’t have the advantages that we have today as Christians.  He did not have the full Bible.  He did not know Jesus.  So for us, if we think about it, the choice should be less anguish-provoking.  The answer to the age-old question of how do we know when to speak up and when to keep our pretty little mouths nicely shut lays on how close of a relationship we have with our Holy Counselor who resides within us, for He is the Spirit of truth, and as such He will guide us into all truth (John 16:13).

Maybe, next time we are agonizing on whether it is the right time to say something or if it is better to be silent, we should ask ourselves:  “have I talked this over with the Holy Spirit?  Have I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance?  Have I asked the Holy Spirit to let me know whether it is the right time to say something or better not yet?”  If the answer to any of these questions is no, we must spend even if a fleeting moment in meditation, asking the Holy Spirit to guide our actions, words or lack of thereof.  If we can honestly answer yes to them; then it is time to listen to His whisperings and promptings and not second guess ourselves.

Sometimes the promptings are subtle, like a nagging feeling or a lingering thought; but sometimes they are just like red hot lava running through our veins.  We must trust that, once we have placed the dilemma in the hands of the Holy One, He will guide us.  We must believe Him and believe that when we have said to Him:  “Lord, I am clueless, you know it well, but I trust You and I trust that You will guide my actions,”  He will let us know when the time is right.  Do not be anxious and trust.  Trust that He will give you the go so you can jump, or will grab you by the arms so you’d go back inside.  And do not feel guilty for prayerfully choosing to remain silent.  Remember that in the presence of evil, sometimes that is the best choice.  Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and He will let us know when to exercise it.  In the meantime, let us pray that we can, “be still and know…”

This morning, after I gave my usual litany of recommendations to the boys as they walked out the door to go to school, Dan said, “with the boys, less is better.”  That’s all he said, but I knew what he meant.  That was Dan’s way of reminding me that, whereas it is important to speak up and proclaim truth so we don’t betray a righteous cause, be it raising godly children or electing the president of the nation; sometimes measuring and carefully choosing our words would have a bigger impact for the furthering of God’s plan. 

The Priority of Looks

It is not hard to see that our society’s fascination with looks is out of control.  One has only to glance at the fashion magazines at the grocery line to see that physical appearance is king.  Looks are prioritized to the extreme that it is not rare to encounter, otherwise perfectly beautiful young girls, obsessed with their image, suffering from such illness as anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety, stress, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc, etc, etc...diseases that where unheard of years ago, let alone observed in teenage girls, all as a result of the excessive preoccupation with their self-image and insecurities.  Peer pressure, parental demands and societal expectations at large create such a level of unrealistic vision of what a person should look, dress, act, speak, behave like, that the brain can't take it anymore and the body explodes with biological manifestations of the condition of the mind.

This is not to say that we are to disregard our image; not at all.  On the contrary, we are to cultivate the image that we were given, the image of the Most High God, given unto us as He, Himself created us. (Genesis 1:27)   And the way we cultivate such divinely created image is by trying to "look" as much as possible like the visible representation of our God, that is like Jesus the Christ.  That is how we are to build our own image.  By attempting to "look" more like Christ.  The challenge is in discovering what in the world "looking" like Christ even looks like?  As I pondered this question of the ages, I decided to really think about it.  "What does Jesus look like to me"?  What do I really think about His image?  Can I put it into words so the idea becomes more concrete in my head?  Can I come up with a few adjectives to describe my Lord to myself?  

Shortly after, a string of thoughts appeared in my mind:  Jesus the Christ, My Lord and Savior is, to my eyes, strong but merciful; almighty, but without pride; bold and outspoken, but humble; firm, but compassionate; forgiving, but just; unafraid and willing to stand for the truth, as He is truth himself, even if it cost Him His precious life, loving to the point of sacrificing His life for His beloved.  This is the image that I need to mirror.  A mighty task, indeed.  An impossible task if I were to do it on my own...like the song by Matthew West says:  "I'm not strong enough"...but again, He knows that; therefore He becomes our strength if we let Him...We can do all things, in Christ who gives us strength...and knowing this IS the secret of being content.(Phil: 4:12-13)

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever.  Wisdom and power are His.  He changes time and seasons.  He sets up kings and deposes them..." (Daniel 2:19)  A Mighty God is our God; let’s let Him be God while we are still and take refuge in His tower of strength.

11 “‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.”  Ezekiel 34:11-12

Matthew 6:24 ESV

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

Proverbs 4:25 ESV:  Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.

God is Special

…I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1b

“16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;” Isaiah 49:16 “…I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1b

I had just finished yelling at my two boys about not having said grace before starting to eat their dinners, when Daddy came home from work.  Since he did hear some of the rigmarole (one of my Mother in Law’s favorite expressions, which I am still not sure what it means, but I’ll use it here anyway, since it sounds like it’d fit…) he asked Dylan if he knew who he was praying to when saying grace, just to make sure…because with Dylan, we never know.  To Daddy’s question, Dylan quickly replied, “to God.”  As we both nodded and smiled, we heard him add:  “Daddy, you know?  In the Bible, God is very special.”  I heard Dan agreeing with Dylan and telling him that God thinks he was special too because He made him and loves him.  To this, Dylan muttered something about Jesus that nobody could understand, and got back to his dinner.

At the kitchen sink, I looked back at my little boy and thought to myself, “you sure are special, alright…”  Later, as I was remembering Dylan’s words, I thought of what Beth Moore talked about at the simulcast a couple of weeks ago.  She said that “God never overlooks one single ‘me’ in the bigger ‘we’.”  The Most High God, The Creator of the heavens and the earth, and of the universe, and of everything else, cares so much about each of His children regardless of his condition, not overlook any single one of them in an ocean of souls.  The thought took my breath away.  He cares about little Dylan, and Grant, and Dan…and me too.  What makes us so special that He knows our names and calls us His own?  What makes me so special?

The truth is that I formulated the question backwards.  It is not I who is special.  It is so clear in the Bible that even a five year old can see it, feel it, understand it and articulate it.  It is Him.  It is God who is special.  He is The Righteous One, and because we are not, He became flesh in the person of Jesus Christ to die for us and thus allow us to be righteous in Him.  He took our sin and gave us His righteousness; so we would be special because He is special.  And once we belong to Him, He doesn’t overlook us as individuals.  He is the God Who Sees, and He does see each and every one of His children.

I pray that as we continue to read His Word, we would truly see how “special” He really is, as well as how special we are in Him.

Victory is in HIM!

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through

our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Corinthians 15:57

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...” (Matthew 11:28) were the words of our Lord Jesus to those who followed Him when He walked upon this earth; and to those of us who still follow Him today.  This is one of His eternal promises.  How hard it is to let our souls be at rest, however.  In the midst of our busy lives, our convoluted world, our messed up society, we fear and we struggle and we become weary just watching the evening news.  How are we to find rest when our children are under constant attack and we fear they will not know the way they should go, even after our tireless efforts to educate them in the faith?  Though we know in our minds it is a promise, and we believe our God is faithful, we can’t help but wonder if we ever will experience such rest.

Scripture, however, also clearly teaches us that our God, not only promised His children that He would comfort us when the burdens of this world seemed unbearable.  He also promised us that we would have power, authority and ultimate victory over our enemies, as we see in Luke 10:19:

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the power of the enemy…”  This is a statement to remember at all times, but especially when we feel the blows of the enemy on our back.  Yes, on our back, for he is a coward, who stabs the children of God on the back, when our guards are down, when we are not paying attention, and when we are immersed in doing God’s work.  That might seem a controversial statement.  However, the enemy attacks us the hardest when we are focused on our mission.  When we are in our most productive time for the kingdom of God, the enemy strikes us with his dagger, sometimes straight to the heart, churning it inside of it until he sees us defeated, until he succeeds in making us fail at our work.

That is why the enemy attacks us while we are doing something significant for the Lord…to see us quit, to see us abandon it.  This is the battle ground of the enemy of our souls, and unfortunately, he wins many battles in there.  The only way to not let him win is by knowing that we are victorious from the beginning.  By knowing and believing that we have already won the war, even when he wins the occasional battle; we derail the enemy’s objective of seeing us quit on God.  Nothing pleases the enemy more than seeing a child of God down, deep down in a pit of defeat.  On the other hand, nothing mortifies him more than seeing that same child of God take stand; and from that pit, call on His Lord to his rescue; and see this child of God climb out of that pit in his God’s loving arms.  Nothing works even better at defeating the attacks of the enemy than to recognize them the moment they occur That way we can take our stand right there and then, before his back stabbing has any effect; before we find ourselves in the pit.

We must, therefore, be alert at all times, so when we feel ourselves deviating from God’s plan for us, from what the Bible instructs us as godly living, from what we know God has asked us to do; we take our stand against the enemy and firmly say, “stay behind me Satan,” “He who has overcome the world dwells in me.   He who is victorious, lives and He lives in me.  Therefore, I am victorious too and you have no power over me.  I am in God’s hands.  I am God’s child and you must flee.”  Trust in Him who lives in you and voice your stand against the enemy.  You will see him flee in terror.  He is relentless, though, and he will be back.  It is our job then to be alert at all times and aware that he wants us defeated.  We must know that the enemy wants to separate us from God and he knows what buttons to push.  Surrender your all to Christ and pray without ceasing that the Holy Spirit will guide you, and keep you aware.  In the meantime, continue standing on the Solid Rock.

Jesus concluded His promise in Luke 10:19 saying, “…nothing will harm you.”  And as stated in Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?”  This is when the “rest” that Jesus Christ offers us comes to our weary and burdened souls.  This is when we find the peace that surpasses all understanding.  When we believe in our victory through Him who lives in us, and exercise our power against the attacks of the enemy, we find perfect rest in Him regardless of the circumstances that surround us.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12

Nothing is Impossible for Him

“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17 NIV

A few days ago, I was overcome by grief as I read an entry in our church’s e-mail prayer chain.  It was about this young woman, mother of 2 pre-school-aged children, who had been diagnosed with some kind of brain tumor.  When she went in for surgery, the tests showed that she had more than one tumor in the brain plus other tumors in the liver and lungs.  I felt devastated for this poor woman, particularly because it wasn’t clear if she knew the Lord either.  I couldn’t help but thinking about my own immortality and my own young children.  How do we overcome hardship such as this?  There is so much pain in the world.  There are so many debilitating illnesses that rob us from productive, fun-filled and happy lives.  There are so many social illnesses that rob us from living peaceful and contented lives.  There is so much darkness in the world.  This darkness surrounds us and envelopes us to the point that sometimes it may seem that the light has been extinguished.  That is the precise moment, however, when we must stop and rebuke all such thoughts.

We are the children of the Most High God, “In love, He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” (Eph 1:5)  We are His children and as such, through Jesus Christ, we too have overcome the world, as Jesus himself tells us in John 6:33:  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  And yes, the world is wrapped up in darkness, and at times that darkness appears impenetrable and terribly blinding.  However, we have the light in us, because He, who is light, perfect light, dwells in us.  The Holy Spirit of the Light of the world is united with our spirit, becoming one when we accept and receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and that light shines in us, in the midst of the darkness that terrifies us. 

This is the truth that we must remember, then, at our moments of fear and anxiety, that though we will have troubles in this world, He has overcome the world and so have we.  Our troubles, Praise the Lord, may not be as terrifying as those of the poor young woman in my prayer chain; but they sure are defining to our own personal realities.  Regardless of what we are going through today, let’s remember that our God is Almighty.  Our God is sovereign, and nothing is too hard for Him.

Step Outside and Breathe

After another grueling afternoon spent with my younger son and “Tommy Triangle” and “Ricky Rectangle”, my husband walked in the door and asked his usual question of every evening, “did anybody get the mail?” (Why he doesn’t just get it as he pulls in the driveway still beats me, but I digress…) To which question I gave my standard reply, “no.”  However, this time, “something” moved me to also say, “but I’ll get it!”

Kicking around shoes and toys left laying everywhere on the floor, I made my way to the front door.  Before I swung it open, I put on my older son’s favorite flip flops as an afterthought.  Finally, I stepped out the door.  The gentle breeze of that late summer afternoon caressed my face so tenderly that it made me stop on the front step to take in a deep and refreshing breath.  I lifted up my head and looked around inhaling as much as I could of that fragrant summer air.   It was a gorgeous afternoon indeed.  I felt as if I had just broken out of a box in which I’d been trapped for a mighty long time.  It was as if the breath of God was breathing down on me.    

I started to walk down the driveway and soon I thought to myself, “boy, these dumb flip flops are very comfortable! No wonder Grant wants to wear them all the time.”  It was as if the darn things were massaging my sore feet with every step I took.  I checked my feet again to see how well those bright blue flip flops fit me.  Surprisingly, they fit me perfectly.  “How has that boy grown…,” I thought with a sigh.  I kept on walking toward the rusty old mailbox and my spirits continued to be lifted up with every step.  I looked up and around and breathed in the beauty of the early evening.  I do love summer.  The soothing breeze touched my face again and made me smile.  Summer fits me like a pair of old comfortable shoes…

In my mind the lyrics and tunes of an old Hymn mixed in with a contemporary Praise and Worship song.  “Breathe on my breath of God, fill me with life anew…this is the air I breathe…Your holy presence living in me…I’m lost without you…”    He is the breath we breathe.  His Holy presence living in me is the Holy Spirit who dwells inside every Christian.  This is the air we breathe, His peace.  This is the air we breathe, His strength.  This is the air we breathe, His Holy Spirit, like He told the Apostles in John 20:21-22 when He said,  21 “…Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”  He is the air we breathe.  His breath comes with the four winds, like He told Ezekiel when He was about to breathe life onto the dry bones. (Ezekiel 37:9)  And we are like those dry bones, which He renews with His Holy Breath. 

On my way back to the house I was joined by my little Dylan.  I handed him an envelope, and tried one more/last time, “what shape is it?”  As if by magic and to my great delight he replied with a big bright smile on his face, “a rectangle!”  YES!!!  I said aloud and gave him a high five.

The Lord provided me with exactly what I needed at that moment.  He gave me what He knew would cheer my heart.  He gave me a beautiful summer afternoon.  He not only gave me the glorious afternoon, but He made sure I didn’t miss it!  He touched my shoulder and moved me to exercise a mundane activity which I never do, and with that, He ministered to my soul.  He even gave me the blessing of comfy shoes for my tired and hurting feet.  He turned the irritating “shoes on the way” into a blessing I’ll never forget.

“You are my portion, O Lord.” (Psalm 119: 57)  Thank you for being a loving and caring Father.  You are the God of the details.  You know your children so well that you know perfectly what would fill their hearts with joy at the right moment.  You are the breath I breathe…I am lost without you.  Breathe on me Breath of God, fill me with life anew.

Test Everything Against the Word

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

1 John 4:1

How can we uncover a counterfeit?  How do we unmask the one who is not really from God? How do we test the spirits?  In 1 Thessalonians 5:21 Paul tells us that we are to “test everything” and “hold on to the good.”  We are to test everything because we are surrounded by false prophets who come to us in “sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” (Matthew 7:15)  We face the task of having to unmask the counterfeit at all times. “The devil will try to mislead you and will show himself as being the truth,” as we read Paul reminding us in 2 Corinthians 11:14-15, and no wonder, “for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness."

The way to do it is by matching everything we hear/read against the Word.

It is indeed a daunting task which suggests knowledge of Scripture, time for meditation, and discernment of the truth.  Sometimes we just don’t have the time or a comprehensive knowledge of the Bible at our fingertips.  Maybe someday we would be able to get Bible software inserted directly into our brains for easy access, but until then, we are left with having to read it and let it dwell in our hearts one bit at a time.  However, all who are of Christ know the truth, and the truth is always with us, and the truth sets us free! (John 8:32)  This is why John tells us in his first letter, chapter 2, verse 20 that we have the “anointing from the Holy Spirit, and all of us know the truth.”  John then continues with the most powerful, the quickest and the most effective way to test the spirits, when he said that the liar is “the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ.  Such a man is the antichrist – he denies the Father and the Son.  No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also.” (1 John 22-23)

There it is then.  The easiest way to uncover the counterfeit, the false prophets and false prophesies is to ask the Jesus question:  Who do you say that I am? (Mark 8:29)  Ask this question to yourself, to others, to everything you hear, read and write.  The answer to this key question will give you the best indication of whether the spirits you are testing are of God or of evil.  After all, we do live in the middle of a spiritual warzone, “for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Shudder

“ You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.” James 2:19

Every time I read James 2:19 I tremble out of conviction.  I proclaim my faith openly to whoever would listen.  When it comes to practicing my faith, however, I am not so sure.  What evidence is there of my faith?  Is my faith a faith of actions or only of words?  James continues saying:  “20 you foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? 21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.” (James 2:20-22)  I do feel like a fool person indeed, very often, in my faith walk because of my inaction, my inability to take the necessary steps, my unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone, my lack of desire to do what I have to do, my lack of drive to do what is right in the eyes of God.

I know that we are not saved by our works for “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God,” like Paul explains in Ephesians 2:8.  Grace is a gift, and as such, no amount of works we do could ever purchase it.  However, it is precisely because we are saved by grace, through our faith that we are called to do our part in the form of works.  In other words, our works are not going to save us, but they sure show that we are saved!  Our “good deeds” make our faith complete, like James pointed out.  Jesus wants us to experience complete faith.  He wants us to have abundant life!  Like He said it himself in John 10:10, He came to give us life to the fullest!  So it is because He gives us life to the fullest that we are called to share such fulfilled life with those He puts in our path.

Many times, however, I miss the mark and I am content to live a faith within the safety of my comfort zone, without risking anything concrete other than the occasional oppositional remark.  I don’t really expose my life to the dangers of Christianity in action.  I don’t evangelize the Godless.  I don’t expose myself to dangerous places for the purpose of bringing the Gospel to those who need it most.  I don’t even share my faith at my work or with those in my family who are lost, let alone with strangers in the sidewalk as I go to a baseball game in the city.  In reality, when I think about it, my faith is not evidenced by many actions at all.  It is mainly a faith of private words.

I am nothing like the missionary family that spoke at our church last Sunday about how they are starting a ministry in one of the most dangerous areas outside Guatemala City.  Unlike them, I would never, willingly, take my kids to live in a place where they could be in danger, for the purpose of spreading the Word.  I am a creature of comfort.  I pray for safety and prosperity for me and my loved ones.  I love this country where God placed me in my early twenties and I pray He would never take me away from here again.  But then, sometimes I sit back and ponder, compared to this missionary family, how abundant is my life?  The Lord has blessed me abundantly, no doubt about it.  But the blessing of being able to see and touch the reality of Christ in our lives, as those who risk getting out of the boat experience it, will never be mine unless I do too step out of my comfort zone one way or another.  It doesn’t mean that God only blesses missionaries.  But I do believe that the more we give of ourselves, the closer we get to experience God with us.  After all, “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25)

He wants us to have an abundant life.  He is the everlasting God.  The Creator of the ends of the world, and He renews our strength.  He wants us to soar on wings like eagles.  He won’t let us grow weary or faint no matter how much we run or walk. (Isaiah 40:28-31)  He equips us with everything we need to get out of our little bubbles and begin to do His work right here where He has planted us.  He doesn’t call us all to be missionaries abroad; however, He does call us all to be missionaries and spread His Word and work for His Kingdom wherever we are.  It is a frightening proposition, I know, but as we also know, “there is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 John 4:18)  When we received Christ as our Lord and Savior, His Holy Spirit came to dwell in us and He is not a spirit that makes us slave to fear.  He is the Spirit that makes us sons and daughters of the Most High God! And by this Spirit we can call Him Daddy! (Romans 8:15) And our Daddy is always with us, so whom then shall we fear?

Let’s then make a decision to put our faith to action today.  I don’t know how this is going to be put into practice, but I know that He will let us know.  Let’s show our faith by our actions of love.  The Holy Spirit will grow the love in our hearts.  Therefore, I believe that if we start acting in obedience to Him who calls us; and we keep praying, the Holy Spirit will transform our acts of obedience into actions of love as He grows His love into our souls until it is love what moves our faith to action.

Let’s think about this and pray that we are not afraid anymore to do what is right.  He walks with us and He holds our hands.  May He make our faith complete!

Please Be Free To Be You in Me

Contemporary Christian singer, Francesca Battistelli, has a fun and profound song called “Free to be me.”  Though not a new song, it has been playing in the “mental MP3 player” of my brain for more than a few days now.  It wasn’t, however, until I heard it for the umpteenth time that one short little line really stroke a cord in me.  The line sits humbly tucked in at the end of the chorus.  The whole stanza goes like this:

'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender

Got a couple rips in my jeans

Try to fit the pieces together

But perfection is my enemy

And on my own, I'm so clumsy

But on Your shoulders I can see

I'm free to be me and You're free to be You .

The phrase that all of a sudden caught my spiritual attention was the very last one, which says:  “and You’re free to be You.”  My reaction when I finally “heard” this statement was one of shock.  I was stunned and semi-paralyzed by the words.  “What in the world…?  What does the songwriter meant by this?  When isn’t God free to be Himself?  There are no snares that bind the hands of God!  Have I been singing around tunes of blasphemous lyrics?”  All these thoughts raced through my mind at that moment; and it wasn’t until I quiet myself down that I was able to begin to really contemplate what the statement might mean.

Then, it hit me.  It’s all about our lack of faith.  I have faith in God and I believe the Word; but I have a lack of faith in myself and I doubt that the Lord can actually make any good use me, clumsy, hysterical, angry, impatient, impulsive, explosive, unkind, insensitive, selfish me.  I struggle seeing how and why He would waste His precious time on me, when there are thousands of other Christians way better than I.  I struggle with being able to live by faith and not by sight.  I see the sin, the depravation, the corruption, the injustice, the godlessness and the perversion in this world and I become anxious, afraid, and disheartened.  I see my children in disapproval of their actions and I let myself crumble in worries about what will become of their lives, rather than trust in Him who has a plan for them, a good and perfect plan to benefit them and not to harm them, to give them a future and hope.  I see the economy being so bad and I panic thinking about the horrible financial situation all around us, rather than to breathe in the presence of He who works out all things together for the good of those who love Him and put their trust in Him.  I see my loved ones hurting and I despair rather than rejoice in Him who makes all things new.  I allow myself to immerse in disillusionment because of what I see rather than rejoice in the True Hope of the Bright Morning Star and all His promises.

If I can only trust Him more, I would see everything through the eyes of faith.  I would see that he carries me on His shoulders.  I would see that He created each one of us the way we are with a clear and perfect purpose in mind.  A purpose that could only be fulfilled by the power of His hand, which is the One that formed us in our mother’s womb and is the only one that knows how to work this complicated “gadget” that is us. 

I am truly “clumsy on my own.”  There is no way I can do, whatever it is that The Maker designed me to do, if I don’t do it by His hand.  So, yes, on His shoulders I can see that I am free to be me.  I can also see, that if I don’t start really, truly living by faith, letting go, and surrendering my all to Him, I am not letting Him be free to do what He has to do in me and through me in order to fulfill His purpose for my life.  I have to let go of my desire to perfectly control the process and outcome of everything in my life so He can be free to lead me toward where He wants me to go.  It is not until I surrender to Him, that I will be free to be me, the me that he designed, the clumsy, insensitive, impatient, angry, impulsive, explosive, unkind, selfish me, that only could be used for the good of the Kingdom of God if on His shoulders.  I am free to be me, for He made me this way.  But only guided by Him, I would really be free to do any good in this moment in the timeline of the Kingdom of Heaven that belongs to me.  Only by living life by faith and not by sight, I will let Him be free to be God in my life and in my work and in everything I do.

For we live by faith, not by sight.  2 Cor. 5:7

I Just Want to be Inspired

I remember watching the movie Jerry McGuire years ago and being somewhat touched by the line, “I just want to be inspired,” which the lead female character told Jerry in response to a “mission statement” that he had put together in a moment of self-awareness, the night before. 

Today, many years later, I have appropriated that line.  I just want to be inspired.  I don’t want to live my life aimlessly wandering without purpose.  I don’t want to just navigate my days among piles of laundry, unread/unopened mail, scattered shoes, broken toys, sticky notes and relentless dust.  I don’t want to just go through the motions of preparing meals, packing lunches, getting kids ready to go to school, surviving work, and family life.  God is an all consuming fire, whose love is like a hurricane.  He is an untamed lion, The Lion of Judah, and as such He dwells in us.  He consumes us and moves us, and awakens us.  He even shakes us up once in a while, to get us out of the rut.

He is certainly moving in my soul right now.  I just wish I could understand the way that He wants me to go.  Since I know my ways are not His ways, I pray He’ll show it to me.  I pray He’ll inspire me.

I want Him to touch me and to let me see the beauty of His presence with the eyes of my soul.  Like the air, I want to feel Him near me, embracing me, surrounding me, holding me, and building me up so I can be re-energized to fulfill His will for me on this earth.  I want to meet my destiny as I walk toward Him.

I am willing to go, as long as He comes with me.  Lead the way, and I will follow.  I just want to be inspired.

In this world of chaos, and darkness; I want Him to be the Light into my path and my feet.

Please, don’t let me trip.  Clear the path and hold my hand.  Give me strength.  Give me truth.  Give me wisdom.  Give me You.

Inspire me.

The Power of Kind Words

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

For the last few weeks and months…actually, for the last several years I have been feeling very convicted by the command to speak kindly to others, particularly to my loved ones.  My struggle with containing my tongue has been a long and a hard fought battle.  And it continues to this day.  It is an instinctive reaction.  I feel threatened; I lash out with harsh words.  The funny thing is that those I love are the major recipients of my lack of self-restraint.  I pray for kindness to come to my words, but I fail time and time again.  The Lord is working this discipline of the Spirit in me very slowly.  One of the things He is using to change me is to make me realize the power of words of love and words of affirmation. 

The Lord has brought back to my mind countless memories of people who have spoken kindly to me throughout the years.  He has shown me that if mean and harsh words have the power to destroy; words spoken in love have the power to build up.  And once you build up someone, the effects are long lasting.  Speaking loving words to someone who feels insecure, threatened or rejected have the power to bring that person out of the pit of darkness.  And once someone comes out of the pit into the light, the chances for that person to deliberately climb back down in there are pretty slim. 

I remember many occasions in which kind and loving words have rescued me from a place of insecurity and vulnerability.  Today, however, I can’t stop thinking about my Father-in-Law.  Dan’s Dad was a very special man with a divine spark that was evident in the kindness of his eyes.  I didn’t get to spend much time with him.  I only knew him for a few short years, but the impact of knowing him will be everlasting. 

I remember it as if it was yesterday.  Dan and I had been married for only a few months and we flew back home to have a wedding celebration with Dan’s side of the family and his friends, since we had gotten married down in Panama and were living there at the time.  My in-laws invited the entire family out to eat one day during our visit, and as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, my Father-in-Law, out of the blue, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you.”  I didn’t know what to do or say.  I just stood there taking it all in, basking on the heartfelt love that he was transferring to me with his spontaneous action of care.  Those words echoed deeply within my soul because at that time I was in the midst of a season of insecurity and vulnerability that would last for years to come.  He didn’t know that, but he sensed that I needed to hear I was loved, and he didn’t hold back.  He took the step and acted in love, for which I’d be forever grateful.

As life would have it that was the last time I saw my Father-in-Law alive.  Soon we left for Panama and a short few months later I would be flying back to the States to attend his funeral.  That was my first experience with pure, unadulterated grief.  It’s been almost 17 years and I still feel the sting of his loss.  I guess the wounds caused by the loss of a loved one are never completely healed.  It’s only by the mercy of the Almighty that the pain becomes less bitter and the memories a bit sweeter with the passing of time.

The memories of his hug and caring words remain with me as a gift that comes back to me in hours of struggle.  It was a gift from God delivered directly to me by a dear man whom I’ll never forget.  It pains me that my sons never got to meet their Grandpa.  Grant bears his namesake and I have to say, he carries it well.  Once in a while I spot that same spark of divine inspiration in him when, without warning, he unexpectedly hugs me and tells me he loves me. 

I have the privilege to walk among people of great kindness and compassion.  I pray that the Lord will teach me through them the art of actions of love and loving words.  In the meantime, I have to continue to find inspiration in Scripture and in the treasured memories of those who have touched my soul along the road.

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:26

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.