Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet
to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
For the last few weeks and
months…actually, for the last several years I have been feeling very convicted
by the command to speak kindly to others, particularly to my loved ones. My struggle with containing my tongue has
been a long and a hard fought battle.
And it continues to this day. It
is an instinctive reaction. I feel
threatened; I lash out with harsh words.
The funny thing is that those I love are the major recipients of my lack
of self-restraint. I pray for kindness
to come to my words, but I fail time and time again. The Lord is working this discipline of the
Spirit in me very slowly. One of the
things He is using to change me is to make me realize the power of words of
love and words of affirmation.
The Lord has brought back to my mind
countless memories of people who have spoken kindly to me throughout the
years. He has shown me that if mean and
harsh words have the power to destroy; words spoken in love have the power to
build up. And once you build up someone,
the effects are long lasting. Speaking
loving words to someone who feels insecure, threatened or rejected have the
power to bring that person out of the pit of darkness. And once someone comes out of the pit into
the light, the chances for that person to deliberately climb back down in there
are pretty slim.
I remember many occasions in which
kind and loving words have rescued me from a place of insecurity and vulnerability. Today, however, I can’t stop thinking about
my Father-in-Law. Dan’s Dad was a very
special man with a divine spark that was evident in the kindness of his eyes. I didn’t get to spend much time with
him. I only knew him for a few short
years, but the impact of knowing him will be everlasting.
I remember it as if it was
yesterday. Dan and I had been married
for only a few months and we flew back home to have a wedding celebration with
Dan’s side of the family and his friends, since we had gotten married down in
Panama and were living there at the time.
My in-laws invited the entire family out to eat one day during our
visit, and as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, my Father-in-Law,
out of the blue, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you.” I didn’t know what to do or say. I just stood there taking it all in, basking
on the heartfelt love that he was transferring to me with his spontaneous action
of care. Those words echoed deeply
within my soul because at that time I was in the midst of a season of
insecurity and vulnerability that would last for years to come. He didn’t know that, but he sensed that I
needed to hear I was loved, and he didn’t hold back. He took the step and acted in love, for which
I’d be forever grateful.
As life would have it that was the
last time I saw my Father-in-Law alive.
Soon we left for Panama and a short few months later I would be flying
back to the States to attend his funeral.
That was my first experience with pure, unadulterated grief. It’s been almost 17 years and I still feel
the sting of his loss. I guess the
wounds caused by the loss of a loved one are never completely healed. It’s only by the mercy of the Almighty that
the pain becomes less bitter and the memories a bit sweeter with the passing of
time.
The memories of his hug and caring
words remain with me as a gift that comes back to me in hours of struggle. It was a gift from God delivered directly to
me by a dear man whom I’ll never forget.
It pains me that my sons never got to meet their Grandpa. Grant bears his namesake and I have to say,
he carries it well. Once in a while I
spot that same spark of divine inspiration in him when, without warning, he
unexpectedly hugs me and tells me he loves me.
I have the privilege to walk among
people of great kindness and compassion.
I pray that the Lord will teach me through them the art of actions of
love and loving words. In the meantime,
I have to continue to find inspiration in Scripture and in the treasured
memories of those who have touched my soul along the road.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according
to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious
and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his
religion is worthless.
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