To speak up
or to be quiet…that is the question. I
stick my foot (sometimes not just one : ) in my mouth so many times in a given
day, that I’m convinced the best policy for me is to remain silent at all
times. If you ask my kids, and husband,
they’ll agree! They all think I talk way
too much. The worst part is that nobody
listens! One of my recurrent complaints
is how little the boys in this house seem to hear me when I speak. I am always amazed at my 10-year old Grant,
for example, and how he looks like he is listening. Last night, just for a quick illustration, as
I was giving him specific instructions on what he needed and not needed to do
in order to complete his homework, he was standing a few inches from me,
nodding in agreement and following with his eyes, indicating with his body
language that he was intently paying attention to my words, only to have him
turn around and do completely the opposite of what I’ve told him to do. I just couldn’t believe it! I asked him, “did you hear anything I said to
you?” Of course, he could do nothing
else other than to shake his head in shame.
So I went and complained about it to Dan, and guess what? He didn’t hear anything I said either!
As you can
see then, if left to my own devices, I am clueless as to when it is prudent to
speak, when I am speaking too much, or when it is better to be quiet. I’m back on that ledge, not knowing what to
do next.
A clue to
finding out how do we know when to speak may come up when we continue reading
Psalm 39. David says: “But when I was silent and still, not even
saying anything good, my anguish increased.
My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I
spoke with my tongue…” We can sense that
anguish David is talking about. As we
read these verses, we can almost see David standing on that ledge, torn. Keeping silent was killing him.
We’ve felt
what the psalmist felt in this passage, haven’t we? We recognize these moments when a fire is
blazing inside of us and we’ve got to say something or we’ve regret it for the
rest of our days. But there is one very
important detail tucked in between these lines, which we might miss if we are
not reading carefully. The shepherd-king
says: “and as I meditated…” He did not keep quiet for long, only while it
was prudent to do so. The All-Consuming Fire
of God’s righteousness burned inside of him until he could not keep quiet
anymore. Then he spoke. However, that didn’t mean David spoke
carelessly, without thinking, saying the first thing that came out of his
mouth, which he might’ve later regretted.
He meditated first. He paused
before he spoke. He went to the
Lord. He reviewed in his mind and soul
who God is and sought His guidance, and then he spoke. And what he spoke was magnificently profound.
As I ponder
these ideas, I realized that David didn’t have the advantages that we have
today as Christians. He did not have the
full Bible. He did not know Jesus. So for us, if we think about it, the choice
should be less anguish-provoking. The
answer to the age-old question of how do we know when to speak up and when to
keep our pretty little mouths nicely shut lays on how close of a relationship
we have with our Holy Counselor who resides within us, for He is the Spirit of
truth, and as such He will guide us into all truth (John 16:13).
Maybe, next
time we are agonizing on whether it is the right time to say something or if it
is better to be silent, we should ask ourselves: “have I talked this over with the Holy
Spirit? Have I asked the Holy Spirit for
guidance? Have I asked the Holy Spirit
to let me know whether it is the right time to say something or better not
yet?” If the answer to any of these
questions is no, we must spend even if a fleeting moment in meditation, asking
the Holy Spirit to guide our actions, words or lack of thereof. If we can honestly answer yes to them; then
it is time to listen to His whisperings and promptings and not second guess
ourselves.
Sometimes
the promptings are subtle, like a nagging feeling or a lingering thought; but
sometimes they are just like red hot lava running through our veins. We must trust that, once we have placed the
dilemma in the hands of the Holy One, He will guide us. We must believe Him and believe that when we
have said to Him: “Lord, I am clueless,
you know it well, but I trust You and I trust that You will guide my
actions,” He will let us know when the
time is right. Do not be anxious and
trust. Trust that He will give you the
go so you can jump, or will grab you by the arms so you’d go back inside. And do not feel guilty for prayerfully
choosing to remain silent. Remember that
in the presence of evil, sometimes that is the best choice. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and He
will let us know when to exercise it. In
the meantime, let us pray that we can, “be still and know…”
This
morning, after I gave my usual litany of recommendations to the boys as they
walked out the door to go to school, Dan said, “with the boys, less is
better.” That’s all he said, but I knew
what he meant. That was Dan’s way of
reminding me that, whereas it is important to speak up and proclaim truth so we
don’t betray a righteous cause, be it raising godly children or electing the
president of the nation; sometimes measuring and carefully choosing our words
would have a bigger impact for the furthering of God’s plan.
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