And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches
of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 19
Lately, my routine has been a bit altered. Rather than
jumping out of bed early in the morning and rushing around the house in a
frantic effort to accomplish as much as possible in a day that always seems to
slip away; now I am forced to begin my days at a much slower pace. Due to a
recent surgery, I’ve been waking up later than usual and by the time I get
“going” with my “activities” the morning is almost over.
The first week after my surgery, my dear husband was home
taking care of our sons and of everything, really, while I just enjoyed freedom
to do as I pleased (mostly spend time at my computer with my feet up).
Yesterday was the first day he went back to work and I found myself alone in
the house with my boys. I have to say the night before I was dreading morning.
I was very nervous thinking that I would not be able to do what I had to do by
myself. “My sons are so clueless. They won’t be able to help me!” was my
recurrent thought. “We’re not going to survive!” “What if something happens? I
can’t drive!” “How are we going to make it?” Today, I feel ashamed.
I allowed my soul to become anxious and distraught. I let my
heart wander away from faith. I took my eyes off of Christ. I forgot the
formula to peace:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by
prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7
I forgot to pray. As I contemplated my days without my
husband home to take care of things I fretted instead of consulting with my
Lord. I didn’t ask Him, the sustainer and strength of my life, to guide me and
make His presence known in me as I walk on the scary waters of getting back on
my feet again.
I forgot to be thankful. My mind wandered to the myriad of
things I am not able to do and I forgot to thank God for all the things I AM
able to do. I concentrated on the “unfortunate event” of my husband having to
return to work rather than appreciating the very rare fact that he was able to
be home for a whole week! (let alone thanking God for the fact that he has a
job to go back to!)
I forgot to breathe in the peace of His provision. I forgot
that He is the God who can do the impossible. I forgot to present my
requests. I forgot to trust Him.
As the day progressed, I moved around the house slowly and
relied on my 10-year old son to do some laundry, water plants and lift heavy
things for me. My 6-year old read a couple of stories on his own, got his own
snacks while lovingly reminding me throughout the day, “Mama, remember what the
doctor said, you can’t lift heavy things and can’t bend on your belly.” All these
sprinkled with some TV watching, naps, and gentle hugs from my sweet boys.
At the end of the day I looked back and saw that it wasn’t
as perfect as the days when Daddy was here taking care of things. We stayed in
our PJs all day and ate bacon, tomatoes and cupcakes for lunch. But the Lord
did provide everything we needed, including an extra portion of patience for
me, and we survived.
I’m sure the boys are glad Daddy is back, though; perhaps
now they can have a decent meal for dinner. : )
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